The Loneliness of a New City

As you may already have learned, I have recently relocated to a new city. I moved in with my boyfriend, in Toronto (where he is originally from). One thing I didn’t expect among the excitement of moving to a big and bustling city, was the loneliness I would often feel.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been extremely out going, making new friends at parties, welcoming exchange students to my friend group, chatting with random people at outings. I went to a very small high school where I essentially knew everyone, and was often hosting the big parties for my grade. This left me with no short of friends to hangout with or besties to chat with. Once I later moved onto university, my friend group shrunk smaller. However this is where I found some of “my people”, a group of girls that I assume will be my forever friends- the ones you just naturally click with.

So as you can imagine- being in a new city with minimal friends is a very unknown struggle to me. I have tried to mingle with my boyfriend’s friends, but they have all know each other since their childhood. Therefore resulting in friendly conversations, but no new forceful bonds with anyone. I have also tried connecting with a few old friends of mine living in the city. But I have found the same problem again, they have been here for a while, so they have established their own new lives (and friends) here.

It is honestly such a strange feeling for someone so extremely extroverted such as myself, to be spending so much time in solitude. I have recently tried a few new channels to connect with friends, such as work and the gym, and really putting myself out there. I have still only been here for just over a month, so I’m sure it will just take some time.

On the other hand; I have found a few pleasure amongst the solitude. I have spent endless hours researching for a future vacation (which is always fun). I have also had the time to really step up my fitness regime (me time). I am also eating much healthier lately (less eating out/ more time to prepare food). Finally, it has also forced me to learn to be comfortable doing things on my own, which I think is a very essential lesson to learn approaching adulthood. I will hop on the subway to go explore new trendy areas (and window shop), I book appointments on the other end of the city (to entice myself to go see that neighbourhood), and I ALWAYS look forward to my visits to the nail salon (which I used to only do with friends).

At the end of the day I think this adventure has taught me that its good to have a happy medium. I still miss my daily friend hangouts/ having someone to discuss my every thought with (like does my hair look too greasy to go one more day), and hope to have some in the near future (with my current and hopefully some new friends). But I also now enjoy doing some adventuring on my own, and have assured my independence.

On the plus side; this loneliness and free time has led me to pick up blogging!

Happy FriYAY Everyone !!!


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